The Runner (2015)

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Today I woke up and decided I was going to commit social suicide. I kept toying around with this idea of going on a social hiatus: becoming a hermit: going into hibernation. I toyed around with it since Summer began to wane and this idea was partly motivated by the weather. It was getting colder now and I don’t like being outside when it’s cold. I don’t like it at all. It seemed reasonable, like I could tell people “I won’t be available to hang out for a few months, I’m going into hibernation,” and it should be completely understandable and they’d say “Yeah, I’m hibernating too, don’t worry about it.” Clearly, I was given the brain of a bear accidentally in the body of a human. Like how sometimes people are born the wrong sex, why can’t they be born the wrong species? I don’t understand why I’m expending so much energy in the winter, it doesn’t make sense! Sleeping for a bunch of months- that makes sense.

Social hiatus isn’t getting through to people, I tell my friends “I’m going on a social hiatus” and they text one week later like “Is your hiatus over? Come over.” All my friends are booty calls. So I need to commit social suicide. I’m not going to reply to texts or emails or phone calls unless they are work related. It feels extreme, but thankfully I have no truly deep and meaningful relationships this could possibly impact as all my relationships are superficial, based on lust, forced or pretend. No one’s going to really have their feelings hurt. And I think my true friends, should anyone actually get concerned, will be able to find this blog.

The other part, also, is that I’m not going to update social media. I’m just going to drop off the social map, however possible that is while not going crazy and still making a living. I’m going to do this until 2015. And all that time I’m not spending spending time with others, theoretically, I will now have to do stuff like this… Like writing this. Is that a trade off? Is that the point? Why am I here?

Those and other questions will be asked.

I went to see a screening for a Political Drama starring Nicolas Cage and Sarah Paulson set during the time of the BP oil spill. A period piece, I guess, about the hectic 2010. Before the screening I decide to search for a bar because I’m hungry and this is how I, as an alcoholic, interpret hunger– “It’s time to drink alcohol!”

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You’re right, millennials are too sensitive and entitled! I don’t know who I’m talking to specifically, but I’m hoping someone who has written an Oped about millennials reads that, someday.

I decide to go to this bar called Tonic. First I go the downstairs way because it seemed less full of people but I was freaked out by the hallway and there was a second set of stairs that went up. So I turned around and just entered the bar through the normal entrance. I ultimately chose this place because of its proximity to where the screening was taking place. That’s my review of Tonic in Times Square. This is a blog about movies, psychology and NYC, I’m making it happen! So anyway, I order two whiskeys and coke (they were suitable) and a guy eating a  burger starts talking to me complaining about his fries. Eventually he gets a fresh set of fries from the bartender and he shares them with me. The guy’s name is Mike and he’s a fitness instructor and offers to sign me up to be able to take one of his classes for free. Gee, that’s friendly and useful and would be so handy, but I’ve committed social suicide! We exchange numbers anyway I realize that social suicide is going to be more complicated than previously anticipated because even if I stop talking to everyone I know, everyone I don’t know will still try talking to me, and humans just never stop wanting to talk, I can’t escape talking unless I truly hibernate. Do I stop going to free movie screenings and getting whiskey drinks at bars?

Questions like that will be answered. The answer could be: It would probably save me a lot of money.

After the movie screening I was starving because a handful of fries and whiskey is not enough food to hold a fully grown adult human over for hours, turns out. But it is not a complete day unless I enter Deliriously Hungry mode at some point.We are converting all of our psychological problems into profitable thought experiments. That’s the point of this blog, now we’re on the same page.

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I wander the midtown west area not sure what I wanted to eat, but knowing I wanted everything. I figured a grocery store would help. I type that into my iPhone Map App (…Mapp?) and it tells me a grocer called “Smiler’s Food Store” is nearby on 46th and 5th. Sure. Whatever. I walk there somehow and they have a midtown west priced salad bar. I’ll take it! I love taking a little bit of everything in the salad bar until it weighs 1 lb. I do that and I also spend an inordinate amount of time looking for a small bag of chips for the black bean dip from Trader Joe’s I had at home that I’d been meaning to buy chips to eat with. I get something something kale and spinach tortilla chips. It tastes like regular tortilla chips.

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