Promobot 9000: The Naked CEO by Alex Malley


So this rogue Brand Ambassador who made it his mission to turn the entire gig into his own comedy showcase, walks along the line-up of Brand Ambassadors in front of Barnes & Noble on 5th Avenue, with his hands in a triangle formation like Jay-Z, saying “You are all inducted,”

u r inducted 2

while spouting witty one-liners about Alex Malley in the style of Chuck Norris Facts (e.g,”In High School, Alex Malley was voted the most likely to be most likely.”)

There is a new message in payroll inbox

Working in marketing has had an interesting effect on my desire to distance myself from human contact and relationships. The shortage of socializing I’ve been doing recently has been corrected in the forced socializing and new points of contact I create during work. There is no option for isolation. To remove oneself from the group is to to one’s detriment. As a Brand Ambassador 95% of my job is talking to people. The other 5% is accessing the ability to stand for long hours and withstand extreme weather.

We live in a time when to completely detach oneself from human contact would require an insanely dedicated amount of effort and probably lots of money since survival is contingent on those we depend on to provide the services and goods we require. Maybe this is a good thing; Maybe it is what we need to not be able to be disconnected from each other.

Maybe the hyper connectedness is what will help us retain our humanity when we have chips installed in our arms to pay for things. Maybe chips installed in our arms would make it easier to get paid for work you did months ago? Because then maybe I’d consider it, I mean if I’m still having to wait weeks to get paid with a fucking rfid chip in my arm, I’m cutting my arm off.


3 thoughts on “Promobot 9000: The Naked CEO by Alex Malley

  1. If you are looking for a good promo company to work for, I highly recommend National Event Staffing ( They pay promptly, not just on time, but promptly, which is practically a miracle in the event staffing industry. National Event Staffing actually pays within a timeframe much shorter than the industry standard of 30+ days (in my experience with National Event Staffing, they paid in less than 2 weeks).

    Unlike an Event Staffing Agency (which shall remain nameless, since I dislike being disparaging, but they staffed the gig for the client mentioned in this post…) that hasn’t sent me a check for a job I did 3 months ago and is ignoring all communications I’ve sent for a status update about this check, National Event Staffing has great and open communication.

    It’s not easy figuring out what agencies are worth working for, different things work for different people in the freelance and promo world. There are lots of reviews out there of the many event staffing agencies, so it’s wise to research before applying for work, and choose to work for agencies like National Event Staffing over others that don’t respect your time and work.

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