The Plaza Hotel

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Here’s something I’ve never told anyone. When I became homeless, I made a deal with the devil (or was it god?) that if I had to sell my soul for anything it would be to be the devil. I wanted to be the antichrist. Only because I suddenly saw how evil the world was.

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I was kicked out of my home by my own sister. Who at that point I had known for 24 years. So who can you trust! It’s really fucked up out here. I’m so into conspiracy theories and for sure believe that everyone is a satan worshipper.

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Except if satan’s real, god’s real. So I’m obvi on the god side, but at the same time I want none of it to be true.

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Like I’m so agnostic that I hardcore believe in Jesus, I’m Buddhist af, and also a satan worshipper (ONLY if I’m actually Satan, otherwise fuck that shit), and also an atheist. I mean, you have to be to even be considered in the running towards becoming A Comedian.

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Wow I didn’t make it on time to my job today, Promobot malfunction!!!!

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In my entire Promobot career, I have never been replaced by a backup. I have replaced many others as a Promobot Backup, but I’ve never been replaced myself.

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I feel like it was good.

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I was late not because I got out of my house late, but because BUREAUCRACY, a very difficult to spell word.

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Y’all I literally didn’t give fucks.

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I was like $70? Or mental health? I chose mental health so I won pretty hard today.

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So I’m doing meds again. It’s been years. But I got the combo I wanted. The combo that worked. It’s 12 years later so I don’t know.

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I’ve done many more drugs since then. Maybe my brain chemistry changed. But Psych still gave me exactly what I asked for at the doses I requested.

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I thought you should start medication on lower doses? Is that only when you’re younger? Should I halve my pills? Should I trust the doctor? Should I trust my experience with other doctors and also my knowledge of how drugs work? This is why I was late to my job.

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Look. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have applied for the job. I keep making this mistake of double booking.

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Booking more than 1 thing per day usually leads to disasters. I’m not saying you can’t fill your day with spontaneous things you decided to do if you did your one booked thing and have time. Things you can’t control. Like work and doctor appointments. Me. Universal me.

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I got highly distracted so I think this is done. It’s over. bye. Oh yeah, I went to get Katy Perry music video photos to populate this post with! Weeeeeeeeeee!

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