Just as I was researching images for the post on the Lana Del Rey Twitter, I am listening to Gods and Monsters by Lana at the same time. Lana’s latest post is
A lyric from Gods and Monsters.
I’m shook. This is the first time I’ve felt compelled to use the word shook. Ever since discovering that Lana Del Rey is a practicing witch, I don’t know if I really do like Lana Del Rey or if I’m under a spell? What’s real? Besides nothing, I mean. Nothing is real.
Listening to this Lana Del Rey witch house remix playlist while writing.
I really want to keep up with these daily blogs but I have the strangest sleep schedule and I’m still waiting for authorization for the prescribed amphetamine to hopefully help me stay up in the day time. It’s hard to feel motivated even to just write on an online diary. Oh yeah! That’s what this is by the way.
I want to do the things that kept me centered as a child before the Internet. I used to read, write, draw, watch tv, eat and jerk off. I think I made better choices when I was a kid than I do now, so I want to reconnect with that me. My inner child.
Today I woke up at around 3pm, forcing myself to stay awake, after falling asleep at around 8am. I tried to stay up. I did chores and showered and dried my hair. But ultimately I couldn’t stay awake. I was so tired doing all these things, but I thought if I pushed through I could stay awake. It just made me more tired. God knows I tried.
My theory is that there’s too much energy in the daytime. Everyone’s awake and their energy, especially in NYC, is overwhelming. I’m super affected by other people’s energy, this can be both good and bad. I usually feel most energized at night. And if I try to sleep at night, I can’t. But falling asleep in the daytime is SO EASY.
Whatever y’all. I’m gonna sell into the system by going on psychiatric medication. I’m waiting for the prescribed amphetamine, but I got the prescribed anti-depressant which I started. Let’s see! Let’s see what happens.
But about Lana. I’ve been following this illuminati thing, and a hardcore conspiracy theorist, since shortly after 9/11. But I still maintain this I’m-Buying-Into-The-System-So-Even-Though-I-Believe-This-I-Will-Pretend-I-Don’t attitude about this stuff. But sometimes I’ll accidentally get locked in a basement at a church with my ex boyfriend or see this tweet by Lana Del Rey and… you know, lying to yourself is the worst.
The everyone in Hollywood is a witch or satanist thing is a thing that seems obvious. It’s not like artists are filling their videos with images of god and angels and clouds except maybe Katy Perry.
Wow. Went in search of Katy Perry images and got lost in a Twitter vortex about the Oscars announcing the wrong Best Picture winner. That shit was so scripted to tug at our heartstrings about the 2016 election. What we all (50% of us) wished had happened, Hollywood made it happen. Or it was probably something more nefarious. I’ve spent time logging footage for a very popular media company that produces awards shows and those awards shows are so scripted I’ve even logged writers rooms for awards shows.
Gotta go i have therapy tmrw