Portlandia is a show that has made me fascinated by Portland since I first started watching it.
I finally visited Portland last month. Wow. What a place, even though I was only there for under a day (as a stopover from a work trip to Seattle) my entire visit was amazing. Just like the TV show. What a delight!
I was working a gaming conference called PAX West in Seattle as a Promobot. My travel expenses were out of pocket, so to save money I didn’t book a room on my last day in Seattle and took a midnight bus to Portland to take a cheaper flight back east.
I experienced a period of homelessness a few years ago, which made me realize, you can sleep anywhere and go longer without eating or hygiene rituals than you think (survival-wise).
At the Greyhound station, I arrived. I had nowhere to stay, I just wanted to visit. I just wanted to be there because, literally, because I love Portlandia so much. First I needed to get some sleep because I didn’t book a room my last day in Seattle, to save money. I went to Portland from Seattle after working a Promobot gig at PAX West. So I hadn’t slept in something like 24 hours. I decided to nap at the Greyhound station, but they had weird rules at this one where you couldn’t stay in the more comfortable departures area. The Guard said I had to move and then later he was like, “It’s OKay, you can sleep where you were before” and that was the moment I knew Portland was the one.
I left the Greyhound station to explore. I pre-ordered food from Lardo, which was recommended to me by a co-worker at PAX who lives in Portland. I made that my first destination.
A nomad friend of mine told me that the Portland train system doesn’t enforce paying fares (a la MTA) so I took a chance and hopped the train to Lardo over on the SE side.
I got my food and… holy shit. I pre-ordered it and didn’t know what to expect. It exceeded my expectations. You can replace bread for a huge bed of fries for the same price. Wow. At this point, Portland made me cum.
With a happy full belly, I continued my expedition and it was great. Lots of walking, but since I hadn’t gotten enough rest and was still drained from working PAX, I decided to head to PDX. I’ve heard rumors that PDX is a great airport but I was not prepared for how great it actually was. My fuck, it was great.
You guys, heaven exists and it’s in Oregon.